This dilemma has come up in many conversations I’ve had with educators over the last few years. Can the teacher also be the friend? Arguments go back and forth on issues pertaining to professionalism and ideals of the student-teacher relationship. Almost every teacher I have engaged in this discussion with has started and finished by firmly stating that, “We are not here to be students’ friends. There is always a line that teachers shouldn’t cross.”

I guess we will have to agree to disagree.

What gets lost in this conversation is the fluid meaning of “friendship”. Most think that being a friend somehow implies an equal relationship. Just because someone perceives you as a friend does not automatically mean that the relationship is equal. It doesn’t even mean that the understanding of the relationship is mutual. So by extension, if a student thinks that you are their “friend”, doesn’t that benefit your relationship with them, rather than hinder it?

This moves the discussion into student perception. My students in that 8^th grade class viewed me as a friend. In whatever skewed way they evaluated and acted upon “friendship”, they not only saw me as their teacher, but they also saw me as a person who they could confide in and relate to. Throughout that year, I had no real issues where students attempted to attack my role as their teacher. I felt that our discussions about things that revolved around “outside issues” brought us closer as a class. It made our relationships stronger. I was able to do less “teacher talk” and negotiate routines, work habits, and levels of academic standards more naturally. If I came in sick and needed students to “work with me” because I simply didn’t have the energy to stay on top of every last classroom interruption, my students would catch on. They would catch on not by a heavy-handed lecture or a loud rant, but by a simple glance and conveyance of my need for them to help me out. Maybe they did that because they liked me as a “teacher”, or maybe they did that because they, then, thought of me as a “friend” who they wanted to help out. I don’t know the reason, but if it was the latter, I have no problem with my students considering me their friend as well as their teacher.

Simply put, the idea of the teacher being the “friend” relies on the fluid definition of the word “friend”. Teachers will use the example of parenting and retort that, “I am not my daughter’s friend, I am her mom.” Okay, if that is your notion of friendship, then I cannot argue with it. But in my life, my mother was not only a mom, she was a friend as well, at least from my perspective. This is because, in my opinion, a friend can sometimes be synonymous with a “parent” or “teacher” or “leader”. So, if my students consider me their friend, I guess I am good with that.

[share title=”Share this Post” facebook=”true” twitter=”true” google_plus=”true”]

The post Can you be a Teacher and Friend? appeared first on Matthew R. Morris.

This interest speaks to the social dynamic that teachers are required to navigate. Teachers must be able to loiter between two very diverse worlds. They must be grounded within an“adult world” which tends to be a space in which an awareness of political and economic matters somehow demonstrates one’s competencies and abilities to be taken seriously by peers. And they must also be able to hover within the domain of popular culture and the ever-changing social tastes of all things pertaining to our modern cultural community. Good teachers must be smart, intellectual and educated. Their knowledge on topics of history, science, and math must be well founded. But they must also be connected to “what is going on now” and able to communicate with youth in a relevant and engaging way. This is what makes an engaging teacher in this world.

Communication is the key in teaching an idea. The ability to relate is the best pedagogical practice a teacher can embody. Of course, most adults wish they had learned the importance of the political process or the workings of economy and finance sooner in life. How many times have you said to yourself or heard other adults say, “If I only knew then what I know now.” But, we have to ask ourselves honestly: Even if the importance of political activism and economic responsibility was preached to our ears in our early teens, would we have really listened? If a teacher told us to be political and smart with our money (and I am sure they did), how engaged would we really have been with that lesson? Unfortunately, interest in politics and economics and things of the adult world are not engaging to most children. Just like Justin Bieber’s latest song or who won Best Hip-hop Duo at the MTV awards doesn’t really do anything for most adults. The two worlds may be interlocked but they do not often overlap. But as teachers, you must find that common ground. To kids, politics and economics and other “grown up stuff” is abstract. Truthfully, it is abstract in the same way that most history and science information is. In order to connect with students, we need to communicate through the relatable and quantifiable. We must use ideas and realities that our youth can fully understand and engage with. In Social Sciences class, for example, use an awards show to teach how the voting process works. Use hip-hop music to teach students about metaphors and similes. Practice that ability to stay in tune with the professional world while staying relevant in the social one because keeping a vast perspective is the best way to critically connect with all of your students.

[share title=”Share this Post” facebook=”true” twitter=”true” google_plus=”true”]

The post Relating to Students through the Medium of Media appeared first on Matthew R. Morris.